Yawn..!! Considerable years and Im out of writing.. Its not just getting lost in corporate world but its sheer laziness of giving some 'kick' to the brain.
So on what topic should I throw shit (I know I love shit).. Hmmm, laziness is better..

So reader, dictionary meaning of Laziness is "Laziness (also called indolence) is a disinclination to activity or exertion despite having the ability to do so. It is often used as a pejorative; related terms for a person seen to be lazy include Couch Potato, Slacker, and Bludger"..
Err.. forget it, read below-

For me, however, laziness is attributable to a Thinker, Divine approachable, Meditation, Bachelor, Cheap Leisure, Cat Haters, etc or whatever Jatra you assume.. Following are some of my Lazi drivers.

- Laziness is mother of all Innovation/invention.. It innovated things like 'k' from 'Okay',
- Its best form of defense.. Make it habit and no one bothers to asks/order you..
- Cat is nightmare. How can they always win from me in demonstrating laziness
- Great thinkers are born out of laziness and chairs..

Im too lazy to write further.. You know thinker.. bai..bye.. cant reach backspace..k.. see u.. oh shit.. you need to hover over 'publish' and click to finish..

Aaila.. What you doing here..??

Hi guys..
"Aaila.. What you doing here..??" one fellow asked me in a Finance Seminar last week. Embarrassed to hear that i felt a divine enlightenment to write this post after a long time.

If anyone had enjoyed attending most boring of seminars then I must say im one of those so called talented freaks. Being in consulting / Finance field, seminars come as part and borrowed parcel of life. Few days back I attended one more seminar and it turned out to be a good outing for me! Till now regular attendance in Seminars has given me some material to type down thoughts, views, feelings, opinions, judgments (Whatever jatra u assume..)

- If you want to experience how people look at a guy they think he's in wrong place then simply attend a finance seminar wearing your fav jeans. I swear they'll make you feel like a beggar, no matter even if you’re wearing a Red Tag Levis' or Lance Lee coopers.

- Do not act like a satellite looking here and there or you'll end finding more satellites.

- Speakers generally are people who explain the matter and then explain why the matter explained should not be explained the way it’s explained. For instance, in a tax seminar speaker said Section xxx talks about this and that but that 'this and that' can not be 'this and that' as 'this and that' is not the way 'this and that' is.

- People tend to look at their watches more in Seminars than they look at it some other times. One should really wear nice watch. Aint mate

- Most of us always expect the big guns to deliver a proficient speech no matter even if we’ve heard them speak same words in earlier seminars. People never blame them for lack of new words or same joke but blame the pathetic organizer for paying him.

- Seminars are new method of ‘networking’. No matter how much u r interested in speaker, ur satellite will always catch some people offering unwanted business cards.

- Tax seminars are most interesting ones as per me. They never conclude but elaborate only to end the session by standard sentences like- “Participants may deliberate on this issue”, “Whether it would be available or rejected?”, “A question arises, and no one has any answer, hence participants may further argue..”, etc etc.

- People attend seminars to find answers and end up with more queries. Cause generally elaboration in seminars is exaggeration of thoughts. I recently heard one speaker arguing with a fellow over whether common streets where a milkman operates generally, be called as his place of business. I even saw some few (including me) noting down the case law on that. Oops, where’s the note..!

Above list is relative; different for different people. However, whenever my boss asks what u learned in Seminar (Being co. sponsored), I’ve only one answer- “I can elaborate on that sir...!”

CA Silhouette...!!

Hi again friends…

-Writing a post after a long time(now don’t say “as if we were waiting”).I was actually busy celebrating Diwali. No; not started drinking yet. Got the most awaited CA degree(I mentioned ‘for a long time’ in last post) and that’s once in a lifetime diwali for we CAs. My CA friends would be smiling now. After all, after many years I’d be able to enjoy summer holidays and diwali vacations instead of MAY & NOVEMBER attempts(naad khula…).

-My enjoyment started when one of senior citizen(people in class who are in fifth attempt & above) came and said ‘Hey Sandy, u know, I guess getting much awaited sex & much awaited CA degree gives same expressions!’. I still wonder how were my expressions that time. May be that’s because I thought Clearing CA in 1st attempt may not give you satisfaction which clearing in further attempts gives you.
Further I heard a guy saying loudly he got a dream of scoring century against australia in morning time and in results got exemption in direct taxes. Don’t know how he was combining both the things but then I had dreamt of winning the world cup that mrng….

-CA journey is interesting not only after you reach the coast but also while u sail in that journey. Articleship is one such period in the journey.
It’s a wellknown joke that CAs have to spend 3 yrs less in hell coz they already complete these 3yrs in form of their Articleship. Don’t know why its considered as hell(No, I haven’t done dummy articlship). It was one of the best time i spent in some meaningful work. Folks, I got to play Cricket during a/ship and that too without getting a cut in stipend! Now don’t think it’ll increase my time to be spent in hell.
It’s a period where we learn to charter the unaccounted. Isn’t it a great job? Learning to write elocution & farewell speech for Principal’s wife n daughters, consolidating documents required for gas connection & types of batteries to be installed in emergency light are other meaningful works as said above in heavenly period. Perhaps that’s why my family started saying- sandy can do household works….
Finalisation of accounts is other interesting archway in an A/ship. It can be defined as arena where you & your boss sit together to discuss presentation of financial statements of client, alter it a number of times & get a final version which infact matches the first version of statements you presented.
I may sound offensive above but then I also believe Articleship is the only period in the journey where you learn what is the value of being a CA…..

-Relatives & their assumptions are other hidden aspects, we CA students are exposed to. For instance, when I called a relative to give him the breaking news of me clearing CA, I was greeted with- ‘Oh! That means i can stay at your place for an holiday during Diwali!’. Now, I don’t know whether that implied Congratulations. Other relatives greeted with ‘Oh! At last…!’; ‘Oh that’s great, my money on tax returns will be saved!’ etc.. The best one was- ‘Congrats kid!! When are you planning to marry? I’ve some openings..!’. After this, I left the job of calling relatives for my parents….

-Journey cannot be completed without some assistance. In most of the cases that assistance for CA journey is in the form of classes. That period spent in classes is unforgettable. And I believe, mentioning classes as a part of this post wont give justice to that period. It’ll anyhow stay short described; no matter how much I write.
Sitting on last bench and keeping an eye on a babe sitting across while learning Amalgamations & mergers was one mast thing (there’s isn’t other best way for learning amalgamation; concepts of mergers are made too clear that way!). Then there’s learning tax allowances & disallowances in class library while giving tips to a cutie & sometimes paying for her fast food downstairs, discussing audit with friends & assessing dress of other people(I assume u understand) at same time….the list is endless. Only CA classes can give such conceptual combinations. No doubt most of CA classes owner may think(some already thinking) to start marriage bureau in near future.
Not to forget the self motivated study sessions at exam time in classes. Exchanging notes, taking photocopies & sharing books as precaution or secondary reading matter which personally I guess only increased the strength of bookshelf. As said earlier, there isn’t any end to mention things. Most of my CA friends will complain of missing out few things.

But those missed out things will give me & friends some matter to talk over and enjoy with cup of tea, recollecting the happy days spent together in a Journey we sailed on different ships. Some still sailing but im sure when they’ll reach the coast it’ll be the destiny-drive they’ll cherish for a lifetime.

KAY JATRA AHE KAY!!

Hi friends & visitors,
This is SANDEEP aka SANDY aka TOMMY writing for first time ever for a cause other than examination. Being in final stage of CA(chartered accountancy), for a long time now, writing on a topic other than CA course is itself motivating.

Neways, IM dedicating this blog to my ALL frnds, NORMAL & ABNORMAL(mostly combi of both) by mentioning in my words some points I LEARNED/UNDERSTOOD/GOT/REMEMBERED/RECALLED(whatever jatra u assume) from them. Please dont forget to read NOTEs given late in blog.

So here i go mentioning the name of friend first in chronological order & the points attached to HIM(no 'HER' here as female friends im not mentioning considering the risk & quantity involved!)

ANIRUDH aka PAMPYA aka SAVKAR

• Honesty is d best policy,i.e; wait for d traffic police to come & screw u if u r without your driving license.
• Nothing can b hidden from your frnds for a long time.
• Bike should be driven only on 'reserve'.

CHAITANYA aka CHAI

• Talk rubbish & there'll b nice conversation going on later.
• Earn more, Drink more..!
• Live like a ceaser dress like a chaffeur.
• If u r in grey mood, arguing is d best remedy..
• Being able to shave is not d Parameter to identify an Adult.

DAISY aka NIGHT HORROR

• When arguing, assume opponent knows nothing!
• When people agree to you fast enough; fact is nobody is listening.
• If you want to show that you are not drunk, Scream in d middle of Road!

SHAILESH aka KHANDU

• Tell False, Speak truth or tell truth, speak false(whatever u think)
• Never use a card to fill petrol. If u do, chances are of being fucked.
• Boss at office is your all time finance minister or BAKRA.

PRASAD aka MUDYA aka KILLER aka WARREN BUFFET

• Spreading news is FUN!
• Helping in family business is d best way to avoid being screwed in academics like others
• Multiply friends; Multiply Entertainment; Multiply SOURCE OF NEWS AGENCY
• Jack of all trades, master of none is indeed a reality.
• Warren buffet is a kind of god; harshad mehta n k parekh are role models.
• PaRtY changing is not only in Politics.

RAMANAND aka RAMYA aka CONGRESS

• Two rupee coin can b changed through a beggar or Beggar is d easiest mode of getting change.
• Buying a branded cloth is sin unless u get a 1500 shirt for 200
• Sex and The City-Please tell me where's d CITY???
• Watch porn, keep d speakers ON!
• Byhearting movie dialogues is a great habit of improving studies.
• Jokes give u laugh, i give u laughter.
• Laughter challenge is d only programme on TV.
• Right To Information Act can be altered to RIGHT TO ARGUMENT ACT!

SAMARJEET aka SOMYA aka SARKAR

• Always Plan even if you want to shit!
• Lie in such a manner that listener should feel embarrassed.
• Talk like a king, Walk like a Queen.
• After watching a movie, do not disburse immediately, else the person who came with you may feel like being a prostitute(kaam hua chal diya).
• DOnt ever try to transplant hairs.
• REDUCING 40 KGs is EASY!!!

STRAW aka HARSHVARDHAN aka PANDU aka PANDIT aka PANDYA

• Maths & accounts is best when you byheart the Problems & not Formulae!!
• Im never in tension cause there'r tension tablets available!
• Most of Doctors earn bread coz of me!
• If one doesn't have a G/f, he shud suicide.
• If u've Tanushree dutta talking to you, you should assume her as Aishwarya rai.
• I always look at positive side of life, coz im standing on negative side.
• Have Discipline; excuse me!!
• MOUSE can act as CAT!

SUJKYA aka VIVEK aka MASTER aka KULKARNI SIR

• Valya turned into Valmiki is reality.
• Teaching is after preaching
• Assess everyone, adopt only one.
• My home is bhusawal junction. All passenger/fast trains hault here.

NACHIKET aka NACHYA aka ICICI aka DEV ANAND

• SOMETIMES ONLY NAME IS ENOUGH!!!!!

NOTES:

1. THIS IS ONLY SOME RUBBISH.
2. FOR FRIENDS NOT INCLUDED HERE- RUBBISH ABOUT YOU SOON TO BE PUBLISHED. ABOVE ALL ARE ABNORMALS, U MAY B NORMAL.
3. FRIENDS MENTIONED ABOVE SHOULD NOT FEEL OFFENDED FOR ANY COMMENTS. IF YOU FEEL THAT WAY, YOU ARE NOT FRIEND.
4. IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ANY POINTS ABOVE, PLZ DONT ASK ME, EVEN I DONT UNDERSTAND.
5. ABOVE POINTS ARE ONLY A FRACTION OF GOOD THINGS THESE HONOURABLE PERSONS POSSESSES.
6. I LOVE THEM ALL AND NEED THEM LOTS.
7. FOR MY MOM/DAD-ABOVE PERSONS AFTER READING THIS MAY HARM ME. SAVE ME!!
8. ANY IMP THING I FORGOT,MAIL ME.
9. A FRIEND KNOWS THE SONG IN MY HEART AND SINGS IT TO ME WHEN MY MEMORY FAILSNOT MY LINE OK, PULL DOWN YOUR RAISED EYEBROWS)

THEREs EXCEPTION 2 EVERY RULE BUT NOT 2 A FORMULA!